Note: This continues my nasty habits series: licking, scraping, and nibbling - in which I mentioned fiddling with nails.
There are three irreplacable possessions in my room:
- My phone, because it authorizes lots of services.
- My laptops, because they have un-backed-up data.
- My toenails, because the good ones are rare.
Here are two good ones I’ve had for a few months. The ones best for fiddling are from the toe thumb. They typically have:
- A large, thick, smooth surface that I can run my finger over
- A thin, tapering edge that’s springy and I can twang it
- A ragged edge that I need to be careful of
- Ridges and grooves that I can pluck at
- An irregular bend I can pull at to straighten
- A sharp tip I can poke with
- … and so many other delights.
Seriously. These are irreplaceable. How often do you get a toenail with all of these features? (Once a year, if I"m lucky.) That makes them more irreplaceble than my phone or laptop.
The biggest threat to my possessions are our maids (we get different ones periodically). Apart from turning off my remote laptop, they also sometimes discover my secret stash of toenails and throw them away. The last time this happened, it took me an entire quarter to get a moderately satisfactory replacement.
Unlike the laptop shutdown, this is harder to prevent. It would mean telling my wife about the toenail stash, which could lead to a permanent ban.