I was scouring various chat rooms on Yahoo, when I hear music stream down one of the Mumbai chat rooms. It looked like fairly professional music. Quite nice. After a while, a message came on the the chat room… mahomedyaseenkhan: did you hear my music? I did. So,… anand_m26blr: Hi maho… I do. Heard you. mahomedyaseenkhan: hello!!!!!! mahomedyaseenkhan: was my singing nice mahomedyaseenkhan: must i sing more songs anand_m26blr: A bit on the higher side, the pitch. ...
I just can’t figure out some people. It’s not just their English, which can be even more confusing than mine. It’s just their way of thinking, I guess. This guy, for instance, started off with… debasissatpathy: hi friend i want a cool girl root_node: I’m sure you do. Haven’t found one yet, have you? debasissatpathy: no i have lots of girl friends not a lover root_node: Too bad. Why don’t you have a lover, though? debasissatpathy: i want a girl who will perfect matching for me root_node: And what kind of a person is a perfect match for you? debasissatpathy: a sexy bold and friendly girl root_node: That’s it? And you’d fall in love with a sexy, bold and friendly girl? root_node: (BTW, hope you’re not trying to hook ME…) root_node: I’m not a girl, FYI. debasissatpathy: he i am a girl try to hog me This floored me completely. I had no clue what the guy was saying. I figured he might have meant, “Hey, I am a girl… try to hug me!” – so I figured… root_node: Gosh, I’m chatting to a lesbian!! debasissatpathy: he i am not a lesbo i am intrest in your pennies Now, I’m completely clueless. “pennies”!?? Why’s he interested in my money, and how’s he going to get his hands on it? But then, it hit me… root_node: Ah, I trust that would be a mis-spelling for the male organ of reproduction. root_node: Nice thing to be interested in. root_node: And you’re looking for your sexy bold friendly girl online? debasissatpathy: it is only nice or any thing special in you root_node: Oh, dear me.. always thought I was a bit different, at least in name… debasissatpathy: no nothing in name you want to enjoy so don’t be a homo root_node: Fair advice. Thought bisexuals have the best of both world’s I guess. root_node: Wouldn’t you agree? debasissatpathy: common i am a male and don’t be so bore root_node: Hmmm… what do you propose we do then, Debasis? root_node: I hate to bore you as much as you hate being bored by me. root_node: Shall we pester some of the lasses around? debasissatpathy: no if you want a strong friend ship then step your feet now debasissatpathy: i am a very carring person above all i am an indian Wow! Strong sentiments. I’d better “step on my feet”, and prove my “friendship”. root_node: So am I Debasis. Caring, and Indian. debasissatpathy: he don’t be so bold enjoy root_node: I didn’t understand… debasissatpathy: to be a friend you should tell me somthing about you and your family root_node: OK. I’m an only child, and I’m from Madras. debasissatpathy: do you native of tn or migrated root_node: Native. root_node: What about you, Debasis? How old are you? What do you do? debasissatpathy: what about your hobbies root_node: I play the keyboard. Mostly film songs. I play basketball. Reading, etc. debasissatpathy: tell me about your education root_node: Of course… but do answer my question? How old are you? And what do you do? debasissatpathy: i am 22 year old a mechanical engineer and warkin in a mnc at new delhi root_node: Oh… which company do you work in? debasissatpathy: in neolite industries root_node: What products do you manufacture? debasissatpathy: automobile lights root_node: Oh, cool. I just finished a management degree a few months ago. root_node: I’m a chemical engineer myself. debasissatpathy: good but tell me what you want to be in feature root_node: I want to direct a cartoon film. Some day… debasissatpathy: ok why cartoon these are aim of girls Sheesh! Such preconceived notions…. anyway, at this point, the guy starts getting really wierd. root_node: Well… sounds like Walt Disney was a guy. And I kinda admire the guy. root_node: Wouldn’t mind being like him. debasissatpathy: tell me one thing if you are alone with a girl what will you do root_node: Talk to her. debasissatpathy: what type of talk root_node: Normal talk – the kind we’re doing. What’re your interests, etc. root_node: Why? What would YOU do? debasissatpathy: i will try to notice if see will screm or not root_node: OK, and then? debasissatpathy: try to know about her needs root_node: Like what? debasissatpathy: if she want help ok or if her intesions are bad then leave her alone root_node: What do you mean by bad intentions? debasissatpathy: not by bad intent but i like those who know there limits root_node: Please clarify…. debasissatpathy: a girl look good not only from skin from charecter that is for male also debasissatpathy: so always try to control yourself root_node: Of course, Debasis. I’ll keep that in mind. debasissatpathy: because i love those girls root_node: Have you met many girls who do not know their limits? debasissatpathy: oh you are not he ok we are good friends make it strong root_node: Great to hear that! root_node: Now, back to cartoons – why do you think they’re for girls? debasissatpathy: give me your address and mine was **debasissatpathy**@yahoo.com root_node: [email protected] debasissatpathy: what is ur name root_node: Anand. debasissatpathy: annad are you rajesh khanna What on earth does that mean? Took me quite a while to figure out he was refering to the movie “Anand”. root_node: Would love to be, but hate to admit that I’m not. Why? Have you lost him? debasissatpathy: clear it root_node: Are you asking about the film star Rajesh Khanna? debasissatpathy: and tell me about your family root_node: I already did – single child, and from Madras. That’s about it. debasissatpathy: are you not she root_node: No, trust me – I’m as masculine as they get. I’m a “he” for sure! debasissatpathy: ok try to contact me through mail and i am a native of orissa root_node: Sure, Debasis. It’s been a very interesting experience, chatting with you! debasissatpathy: ok it is very long chating because here i am after my duty is over you debasissatpathy: plase contact me through e mail bye friend root_node: Bye!
Yet another one of those late night chats in which I set up a virtual date for apple pie and ice cream with a Canadian grad. yours_truly00_2000: Hi root_node: Hi yours yours_truly00_2000: :-) root_node: What’re you doing, up so early? yours_truly00_2000: early?? root_node: 9:30 yours_truly00_2000: it’s like 9:00 pm hea in Canada root_node: Gosh, that’s late then. Get to bed! yours_truly00_2000: lolz root_node: You from Mumbai? yours_truly00_2000: 9 o’clock ain’t that late ;P yours_truly00_2000: nope root_node: Indian? yours_truly00_2000: btw…… whatcha doin’ up so early yo ‘self huh?? yours_truly00_2000: yes, an Indian root_node: Me, I’m not awake. I’m sleep-chatting yours_truly00_2000: :-D yours_truly00_2000: yeah , that makes sense yours_truly00_2000: hehe root_node: Where in Canada are you? yours_truly00_2000: B.C. yours_truly00_2000: are u from Bombay? root_node: In Bombay, not from. yours_truly00_2000: :-P root_node: Where are you from? yours_truly00_2000: I thought I told ya yours_truly00_2000: didn’t I ? root_node: I mean where from India? yours_truly00_2000: oh yours_truly00_2000: I’m a Gujarati yours_truly00_2000: ;-) root_node: Does the ID “tony_bam_bam” ring a bell? yours_truly00_2000: ummmmm…..no. yours_truly00_2000: I don’t think so root_node: The reason I ask is, a couple of months ago… root_node: this guy came over to this chat room, and asked root_node: if there were “any Patels around” yours_truly00_2000: lolz root_node: He wanted to learn Gujrati, so he could impress his root_node: GF, who was at college. root_node: The best I could do was help him out with Hindi. yours_truly00_2000: lolz root_node: Hope the poor bloke never tried it out yours_truly00_2000: hehe yours_truly00_2000: he probably ended up gettin’ a slap on his face root_node: That would’ve been the start. root_node: You ever slapped anyone? (Or got slapped?) yours_truly00_2000: The guy’s GF…" Tane Gujarati nati aavadtu!!! " *SLAP* yours_truly00_2000: ooooh , that’s neva been da case for me root_node: What does that mean: “Tane…” yours_truly00_2000: " You can’t speak no Gujarati !!" yours_truly00_2000: hehe root_node: And why is that “neva been da case…”? yours_truly00_2000: just cuz I’m a goodie goodie root_node: Gosh, never thought I’d meet somebody goodie goodie on the Net!! yours_truly00_2000: have u ever been slapped? yours_truly00_2000: lol root_node: So, you’ve never sneaked a cookie out of its jar, have you? yours_truly00_2000: maybe earlier when I was a kid root_node: Yes, I’ve been slapped all right. 3 times, if I remember. root_node: But that’s by my mom, and for not being goodie goodie! yours_truly00_2000: but I wouldn’t get slapped for that! yours_truly00_2000: lol@ 3 times root_node: No, actually, I’ve been slapped once after that. yours_truly00_2000: really? root_node: I was driving my scooter to college, and yours_truly00_2000: who slapped ya? root_node: I banged into this aayah who was crossing the road. root_node: Not that I meant to, but… root_node: And she slapped me so hard, that my glasses fell off! yours_truly00_2000: awwww, u poor thing root_node: I ran away, of course. (Left the scooter behind) yours_truly00_2000: lol root_node: She seemed a bit too formidable. yours_truly00_2000: btw…. wot’s an aayah? root_node: Um… sort of like a maid-servant? yours_truly00_2000: a maid slapped ya?? root_node: Pretty hard yours_truly00_2000: how could she!?!?!? root_node: Can’t demonstrate, I’m afraid. You’ll have to use your imagination yours_truly00_2000: lol root_node: Are you in school? yours_truly00_2000: uni. yours_truly00_2000: u ? root_node: I just graduated. Working (and earning money! wow – feels so good) yours_truly00_2000: :-P yours_truly00_2000: what sorta work do ya do? root_node: I’m a consultant. :-( yours_truly00_2000: why the :-( ? root_node: Well, lots of people don’t like consultants. root_node: You know the jokes, right? root_node: A consultant takes your watch and tells you the time. root_node: A consultant comes uninvited and tells you how many sheep you have, root_node: and takes your dog, Etc. etc. etc. root_node: BTW, which univ are you at? root_node: A couple of my friends are at York and McGill yours_truly00_2000: <—— likes consultants though yours_truly00_2000: .. or maybe a consultant yours_truly00_2000: I go to UBC root_node: <—- likes yours_truly :-x yours_truly00_2000: awwww, that’s sweet yours_truly00_2000: :-D yours_truly00_2000: :turns away from root_node and blushes. root_node: <—– waits to get slapped… yours_truly00_2000: LOL root_node: What’s your major? yours_truly00_2000: Business Admin. root_node: Ouch!! yours_truly00_2000: whaa? root_node: I just did my MBA too. That ain’t good…. yours_truly00_2000: ;-) ...
I was pretty surprised that this guy wanted to go to the “richest” college in Mumbai. But by the time he asked if they were co-ed, I figured I had to get off quickly… root_node: M 26 BLR. root_node: Well, M 26 Mumbai, actually. kushnoodh: ok wanna chat with male root_node: Hi! kushnoodh: tell me wann chat or ? root_node: Sure, why not? Where are you from? root_node: Of course. I mean, where in PK? kushnoodh: fsd kushnoodh: u knoqw this place root_node: Heard of it, of course. But don’t know much. root_node: You a student? kushnoodh: yes i m coming to india for study kushnoodh: bombay root_node: Oh, that’s good! Where to? kushnoodh: i m coming to bombay but now i need some information about college kushnoodh: can u help me root_node: Which college are you coming to? kushnoodh: plzz tell me the best college name of bombay root_node: Boy, that’s a tough one…. what do you want to study? kushnoodh: i passed my matric in 1996 and now i want to continue my study 11th root_node: Oh… VJTI is a pretty good college. root_node: So is Wilson college. root_node: Ruparel college is probably the most famous, though. kushnoodh: can u tellme the richest college name root_node: Uh… no clue actually! kushnoodh: ok root_node: In terms of reputation, these three colleges are pretty good. kushnoodh: im these colleges hostel facility root_node: I’m not sure… but getting accomodation in Mumbai is not a problem at all. kushnoodh: and tellme the fee and hostel charges kushnoodh: guess root_node: Frankly, I’m new to Bombay, and have never studied here, so I haven’t a clue. root_node: But if you’re looking for an estimate. root_node: My guess would be it’s in the order of root_node: a lakh a year, excluding accomodation. kushnoodh: ok thanks and no admission problem for muslims root_node: None that I know if. kushnoodh: i mean is any admission problem for mmuslims root_node: Usually, no. root_node: There’s no quota or anything. kushnoodh: ok kushnoodh: nice root_node: Best of luck with your application, Habib! kushnoodh: tell me if i come to bombay and wanna stay there then can i get room on rent root_node: Oh yeah, sure. They’re easily available. Rents vary from 2,000 to 10,000 per month. kushnoodh: its is so castly kushnoodh: any low one root_node: It would be pretty far away, then. kushnoodh: ok root_node: I’ve got to chat with another friend, Habib. See you around, then. Bye! kushnoodh: tell me in these colleges total co education plz tell me and ui will not disturb u plz root_node: Sure. They’re all co-ed! kushnoodh: have a nice chat ok see u bybeybeyeyeb sweet friend root_node: Bye! Best of luck! kushnoodh: ok so nice of u man i like u very much because ur very good man kushnoodh: have a good day nice meeting and chatting with u ok ybeybebeyb
anand_m26blr: Hi Sonisha! How’re you? sonisha_jd: hi anand_m26blr: Where are you from? sonisha_jd: adb anand_m26blr: Sorry? ADB? sonisha_jd: adilabad sonisha_jd: a.p anand_m26blr: Oh, I see. I’m right now in Mumbai. anand_m26blr: Which chat room are you in? The reason I asked this was because sonisha_jd wasn’t in the chat room I was in, and I was logged in invisibly. I have a theory on who sonisha_jd is, but that’s a different story. ...
I help a guy in Texas propose to his love in Hindi. (I’m root_node) cody_bam_bam: Any Patels here? cody_bam_bam: Any Patels here…from Texas? cody_bam_bam: Anyone know what the name Geeta, comes from? root_node: Geeta comes from the Sanskrit word for song (gaay), I think. root_node: Doesn’t ‘Geeta’ mean song, in the firat place, cody? cody_bam_bam: I dont know… mahindersingh_mayank: hi any good &truthly friend cody_bam_bam: i tohguht it was a name of soome teachings? cody_bam_bam: Well i live in Texas cody_bam_bam: And im in lov with this girl her shes Indian root_node: “Bhagavad Geeta” is what you’re probably referring to. That literally translates to “God’s Song”. crush0508: hello cute root_node: That’s interesting! Where’s your girlfriend from in India? cody_bam_bam: her last name is Patel, she says its a pretty popoular name in India root_node: Oh yes, fairly popular ...