I am befriended by an Oriyan with strong opinions

I just can’t figure out some people. It’s not just their English, which can be even more confusing than mine. It’s just their way of thinking, I guess. This guy, for instance, started off with…
debasissatpathy: hi friend i want a cool girl
root_node: I’m sure you do. Haven’t found one yet, have you?
debasissatpathy: no i have lots of girl friends not a lover
root_node: Too bad. Why don’t you have a lover, though?
debasissatpathy: i want a girl who will perfect matching for me
root_node: And what kind of a person is a perfect match for you?
debasissatpathy: a sexy bold and friendly girl
root_node: That’s it? And you’d fall in love with a sexy, bold and friendly girl?
root_node: (BTW, hope you’re not trying to hook ME…)
root_node: I’m not a girl, FYI.
debasissatpathy: he i am a girl try to hog me

This floored me completely. I had no clue what the guy was saying. I figured he might have meant, “Hey, I am a girl… try to hug me!” — so I figured…

root_node: Gosh, I’m chatting to a lesbian!!
debasissatpathy: he i am not a lesbo i am intrest in your pennies

Now, I’m completely clueless. “pennies”!?? Why’s he interested in my money, and how’s he going to get his hands on it? But then, it hit me…

root_node: Ah, I trust that would be a mis-spelling for the male organ of reproduction.
root_node: Nice thing to be interested in.
root_node: And you’re looking for your sexy bold friendly girl online?
debasissatpathy: it is only nice or any thing special in you
root_node: Oh, dear me.. always thought I was a bit different, at least in name…
debasissatpathy: no nothing in name you want to enjoy so don’t be a homo
root_node: Fair advice. Thought bisexuals have the best of both world’s I guess.
root_node: Wouldn’t you agree?
debasissatpathy: common i am a male and don’t be so bore
root_node: Hmmm… what do you propose we do then, Debasis?
root_node: I hate to bore you as much as you hate being bored by me.
root_node: Shall we pester some of the lasses around?
debasissatpathy: no if you want a strong friend ship then step your feet now
debasissatpathy: i am a very carring person above all i am an indian

Wow! Strong sentiments. I’d better “step on my feet”, and prove my “friendship”.

root_node: So am I Debasis. Caring, and Indian.
debasissatpathy: he don’t be so bold enjoy
root_node: I didn’t understand…
debasissatpathy: to be a friend you should tell me somthing about you and your family
root_node: OK. I’m an only child, and I’m from Madras.
debasissatpathy: do you native of tn or migrated
root_node: Native.
root_node: What about you, Debasis? How old are you? What do you do?
debasissatpathy: what about your hobbies
root_node: I play the keyboard. Mostly film songs. I play basketball. Reading, etc.
debasissatpathy: tell me about your education
root_node: Of course… but do answer my question? How old are you? And what do you do?
debasissatpathy: i am 22 year old a mechanical engineer and warkin in a mnc at new delhi
root_node: Oh… which company do you work in?
debasissatpathy: in neolite industries
root_node: What products do you manufacture?
debasissatpathy: automobile lights
root_node: Oh, cool. I just finished a management degree a few months ago.
root_node: I’m a chemical engineer myself.
debasissatpathy: good but tell me what you want to be in feature
root_node: I want to direct a cartoon film. Some day…
debasissatpathy: ok why cartoon these are aim of girls

Sheesh! Such preconceived notions…. anyway, at this point, the guy starts getting really wierd.

root_node: Well… sounds like Walt Disney was a guy. And I kinda admire the guy.
root_node: Wouldn’t mind being like him.
debasissatpathy: tell me one thing if you are alone with a girl what will you do
root_node: Talk to her.
debasissatpathy: what type of talk
root_node: Normal talk — the kind we’re doing. What’re your interests, etc.
root_node: Why? What would YOU do?
debasissatpathy: i will try to notice if see will screm or not
root_node: OK, and then?
debasissatpathy: try to know about her needs
root_node: Like what?
debasissatpathy: if she want help ok or if her intesions are bad then leave her alone
root_node: What do you mean by bad intentions?
debasissatpathy: not by bad intent but i like those who know there limits
root_node: Please clarify….
debasissatpathy: a girl look good not only from skin from charecter that is for male also
debasissatpathy: so always try to control yourself
root_node: Of course, Debasis. I’ll keep that in mind.
debasissatpathy: because i love those girls
root_node: Have you met many girls who do not know their limits?
debasissatpathy: oh you are not he ok we are good friends make it strong
root_node: Great to hear that!
root_node: Now, back to cartoons — why do you think they’re for girls?
debasissatpathy: give me your address and mine was debasissatpathy@yahoo.com
root_node: root_node@yahoo.com
debasissatpathy: what is ur name
root_node: Anand.
debasissatpathy: annad are you rajesh khanna

What on earth does that mean? Took me quite a while to figure out he was refering to the movie “Anand”.

root_node: Would love to be, but hate to admit that I’m not. Why? Have you lost him?
debasissatpathy: clear it
root_node: Are you asking about the film star Rajesh Khanna?
debasissatpathy: and tell me about your family
root_node: I already did — single child, and from Madras. That’s about it.
debasissatpathy: are you not she
root_node: No, trust me — I’m as masculine as they get. I’m a “he” for sure!
debasissatpathy: ok try to contact me through mail and i am a native of orissa
root_node: Sure, Debasis. It’s been a very interesting experience, chatting with you!
debasissatpathy: ok it is very long chating because here i am after my duty is over you
debasissatpathy: plase contact me through e mail bye friend
root_node: Bye!