The meaning of life

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 19:29:55 +0530

As a teenager, I asked my mother “What is the aim of life?” She said, “To be happy and to make others happy.” This was my gospel for a decade. It made sense. It even aligned with my name (Anand = happiness).

In my twenties, I was confused that happiness has tradeoffs, like:

Long term (study hard) vs short term (party hard)
Self (e.g. save diligently) vs others (gift generously)
Getting what we like (e.g. favorite food, ambitiousness) vs liking what we get (e.g. any food, gratitude, lower standards)
Outcome (e.g. wealth) vs process (e.g. enjoying work)

By my thirties, I felt happiness is the intersection of pleasure and meaning. So I tried to be aware of and balance both.

In my forties, The Landmark Forum introduced me to the idea that life has no intrinsic meaning, so you can pick. So I tried to pick meanings, changing them with time.

In my fifties, I’m learning that the meaning of life can be viewed through many lenses, like:

Physiology: What the body wants
- Survive: The body wants to maintain homeostasis and stay alive.
- Enjoy: The body seeks pleasure and avoids pain (hedonic drive).
- Reproduce: Genes want to propogate the species.
Psychology: What the mind craves
- Connect: Build social bonds and connections to loved ones.
- Grow: Become the most that one can be. (Self-actualization, mastery, autonomy, purpose)
- Contribute: Create things that outlast us.
Philosophy: What the spirit seeks
- Serve divine will: Fulfil your divine purpose or duty (Theistic/Karmic).
- Live virtuously: Flourish through virtue, fulfilling your potential. (Virtue Ethics)
- Make your own meaning: Life has no intrinsic meaning. We tend to make up meanings. Accept it, pick a meaning, enjoy. (Nihilism/Absurdism/Existentialism)
- Be rational: Live according to reason and nature; accept what you can’t control (Stoicism).
- Maximize good: Maximize well-being for the greatest number (Utilitarianism).
- Serve people: Relieve suffering and help others.
- Transcend suffering: End suffering through detachment and the dissolution of ego (Buddhism).

I still believe there’s no intrinsic meaning. Just lenses.

We change lenses over time. E.g. I moved from strongly believing “Serve divine will” to not believing it.
We believe multiple lenses at a time. E.g. I “Enjoy” food but “Transcend suffering” by fasting. (In fact, fasting makes food more enjoyable.)
Lenses can conflict. Genes want to “Reproduce” but not all mothers “Survive” childbirth. Zealots who “Serve divine will” may “Serve people” against that will.

If that’s the case, I no longer know how to evaluate right or wrong, good or bad, in an objective sense. Maybe these have meaning only within a lens.

PS: In the mid-1990s, I made a list of things I wanted to write about and stored it on a floppy disk with the filename TOWRITE.TXT. This post was first on that list. After 30 years, I finally wrote it!

How to be happy

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 12:00:00 +0000

Advice from Tal Ben-Shahar, who teaches a Harvard class “Positive Psychology”, or how to get happy.

1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions – such as fear, sadness, or anxiety – as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.

3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?

4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do – or don’t do – with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.

6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.

happiness on S Anand

The meaning of life

How to be happy