I adopt a 6-year old

Sun, 29 Jul 2001 12:00:00 +0000

This is one of the funniest conversations I’ve had.
funkymishti79: hello
funkymishti79: anyone wanna chat
anand_m26blr: Sure Funky.
anand_m26blr: Are you from Mumbai?
funkymishti79: where r u from
kunu122: hi
anand_m26blr: Mumbai. Actually, I didn’t quite think anyone would use this room.
funkymishti79: hi kunu
anand_m26blr: I had dropped by to practise some Yahoo emoticons
kunu122: is there any 1 there in room
anand_m26blr: which were not listed.
anand_m26blr: Good to see so many join in.
funkymishti79: lol
kunu122: u
kunu122: how r u
anand_m26blr: Hey, did you all know about the secret emoticons?
funkymishti79: i am fine kunu
kunu122: please tell me how
anand_m26blr: Well, for the rose
kunu122: a/s/l
funkymishti79: whose?????
anand_m26blr: you’ve got to type @ } ; -
anand_m26blr: Yours, I suppose, Funky.
kunu122: u funky
funkymishti79: sharon r u theres
anand_m26blr: Mine is obvious – M 26 BLR.
anand_m26blr: Hi, Kunu.
kunu122: how r u
funkymishti79: 6/f/mum
anand_m26blr: Good. Where are you from?
funkymishti79: u are old enough to be my father anand
kunu122: r u just 6 yrs
funkymishti79: yes kunu uncle…..
anand_m26blr: Always wanted a kid, Funky. Shall I adopt you?
kunu122: 16/m/mum
anand_m26blr: Hmmm… between us, we’re in arithmetic progression
kunu122: anand a/s/l
anand_m26blr: M 26. Right now I’m in Mumbai.
funkymishti79: glad to be ur daughter…by the way are u fussy about late nights and chocolates????
funkymishti79: r u not frm mumbai
anand_m26blr: I’m EXTREMELY fussy about late nights, but not chocolates.
kunu122: yes i m from mum
anand_m26blr: Unless you prefer dark chocolate.
anand_m26blr: How about you, Kunu? What’s your preference of chocolate?
funkymishti79: r u adopting kunu tooo…..i don’t want a brother
anand_m26blr: Well, Kunu can be your uncle
funkymishti79: where is my mommy….(tears)
anand_m26blr: These days, you need to learn to cope with having a single parent, dear!
funkymishti79: naa…i wnat mommy and no uncle…
anand_m26blr: Well, Kunu, I don’t know your preferences, but
funkymishti79: unless he is handsome
anand_m26blr: could you become Funky’s mommy?
anand_m26blr: Uh, oh.. I think he’s gone!
funkymishti79: i want kunu mommy…..(laughing with one tooth)
anand_m26blr: Scared him, didn’t you?!? Very bad girl!
anand_m26blr: Shouldn’t scare mommy away.
funkymishti79: vinay r u frm delhi????
funkymishti79: no i want mommy…daddy help
anand_m26blr: Guess I’ll have to get you another one, child.
anand_m26blr: Lots around.
anand_m26blr: Hello everyone.
anand_m26blr: Anyone wants to join me in parenting Funky?
anand_m26blr: Gender irrelevant.
anand_m26blr: She likes late nights (I don’t) and chocolate (I do)
funkymishti79: parents invited for interviews…open now…rush for it
anand_m26blr: Application: 79 year old. Plenty of experience.
anand_m26blr: Retired in 1980.
funkymishti79: help i want a mommy…u fool…not a nani
anand_m26blr: Well, why not both?
anand_m26blr: Application: 79 year old with 50 year old daughter
anand_m26blr: AND a 25 year old grand-daughter.
funkymishti79: i said only mommy and not the whole fuckin family….
anand_m26blr: Good lord, you have such vile vocabulary. Wash your mouth!!
anand_m26blr: Otherwise no chocolates tonight.
anand_m26blr: Do you really like chocolate that much? I’m a white chocolate fan myself.
funkymishti79: i heard u saying these last night with the barely clad woman daddy
anand_m26blr: Well, Funky, you and I should have a little chat about birds and
anand_m26blr: bees in about 6-7 years from now.
anand_m26blr: But till then, sleep early!!
funkymishti79: no i want to stick to daddy and do what he does…
funkymishti79: with the birds and bees
anand_m26blr: I don’t think you can do what daddy does, sweety pie. A bird cannot do what a bee does.
anand_m26blr: (At least, not as well)
funkymishti79: me a delhiwali and u….daddy (blinking eyelids)
anand_m26blr: Daddy has been all over the country
funkymishti79: me likes new daddy….now the chocolates…heh heh
anand_m26blr: Chocolates will be served only after dinner. First, brush your teeth.
funkymishti79: how can i eat chocolates after brushing my teeth u moron!!!!
anand_m26blr: Moron!?!? That’s not the way you speak to daddy, child! Now, spank yourself and
anand_m26blr: pretend daddy really beat you up.
funkymishti79: kids r smarter these days daddy
anand_m26blr: And what’s wrong with eating chocolates after brushing your teeth?
anand_m26blr: You can always brush it again after the chocolate
anand_m26blr: I’ll go with you on the kids getting smarter. The time’s come when I think I know
anand_m26blr: less than my 12-year old cousins.
funkymishti79: lets get brushing outof the scene whats the use????
anand_m26blr: Point. All other things being equal, I’d rather never brush.
anand_m26blr: And, of course, hog all the chocolate and ice cream I can get.
anand_m26blr: But Daddy never said that, OK?
funkymishti79: what do u do for a living daddy???? i mean i have to know the money source
anand_m26blr: well, OK, you might be a prodigy.

funkymishti79: no such luck…i am spoilt brat kinds
anand_m26blr: Daddy works as a consultant. And don’t EVER ask what that means.
anand_m26blr: Daddy makes a life out of conning poor companies off their wealth.
funkymishti79: smart daddy
funkymishti79: naaaaa…me got a sis
anand_m26blr: Well, that makes me the proud father of two, then! Wonder when I got the time away
anand_m26blr: from all these clients!
funkymishti79: interesting so no family jhanjhat
anand_m26blr: None at all.
anand_m26blr: Incidentally, is my daughter fending off a whole array of PMs?
funkymishti79: save me dadddy
anand_m26blr: Kyaa hua bitiya?
anand_m26blr: Kaun tujhe tang kar raha hein?
funkymishti79: duniya bhar ke ladke
funkymishti79: pappa
anand_m26blr: baat karo na? taras rahe honge
anand_m26blr: bichare na jaane kitne door se aaye hein tumse baat karne ke liye.
anand_m26blr: Aur agar koi pasand aaya, let me know. I’ll start worrying about him 15 years from now.
funkymishti79: anand u r damn cute
anand_m26blr: With all due respect, I am NOT cute. I may be a hunk,
anand_m26blr: I may be powerfully attractive,
anand_m26blr: but I am NOT, repeat NOT, cute.
anand_m26blr: you promise not to call me “cute”.
anand_m26blr: Such a ridiculous word.
anand_m26blr: Do you promise?
funkymishti79: sorry daddy…i thought my daddy will be more appropriate
anand_m26blr: Hmmm…. that’s better.
anand_m26blr: Just keep showing me this kind of respect, and I’ll treat you to chocolates.
anand_m26blr: Maybe even let you stay up late on Saturdays.
funkymishti79: cute…cute….cute…anand is cute
anand_m26blr: HRRRMMMPPHHH!
anand_m26blr: Bad girl!
anand_m26blr: Sssshhhhhhhhh….
anand_m26blr: Koi sun lega. What will happen to my reputation!?
funkymishti79: no daddy don’t be greedy now
anand_m26blr: Nothing greedy about not wanting to be “cute”!
anand_m26blr: (Yuk, what a word!)
anand_m26blr: Can I PM you, if you don’t mind? Wouldn’t want Kunu to track me down and propose to me…
funkymishti79: jaydeep are u sharon’s friend
anand_m26blr: Hmm, who’s Jaydeep? Hi Jaydeep! Why don’t you join us?
funkymishti79: daddy…thats is for me….parents stay away
anand_m26blr: This place is a bit of madhouse, but its OK, I’m sure you’ll fit in…
anand_m26blr: OK, OK, dear.
anand_m26blr: Incidentally, I know it’s a little late to ask, but what’s your real name?
funkymishti79: daddy can call beti anything
anand_m26blr: Funky sounds too ‘funky’. Mishti’s better. OK, mishti?
funkymishti79: yes daddy….as long as u feed me
anand_m26blr: Strict diet of chocolates and ice cream, I suppose? No way!
anand_m26blr: Daal chaval and roti is what you can expect.
anand_m26blr: Maybe the occassional bhaingan bharta.
funkymishti79: gotta go…will call u tomorrow
anand_m26blr: See you. And now I can go back in peace to my emoticons

I learn that guys want to speak to girls

Sat, 23 Jun 2001 12:00:00 +0000

Guys want to speak to girls, not guys. (I’m root_node)
ra_sun74: hi
root_node: Hi ra_sun74, ASL?
ra_sun74: m/26/dehi
ra_sun74: u
root_node: M/26/MUM. Are you a Delhi-ite? As in, born in Delhi?

There ends the conversation. ra_sun74 doesn’t even say Bye. He’s not interested.

root_node: Hi Sanav. Where are you from?
s_sanav: asl
root_node: m/26/mum. Still interested in chatting?

Clearly not.

rosesaif: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
root_node: Hi rosesaif. ASL, please?
rosesaif: 19m
rosesaif: u
root_node: 26/M/Mumbai. Where are you from?
rosesaif: mum
rosesaif: bye
root_node: Bye.

adhwaryukunal: I can we chat
root_node: Sure can. Where are you from?
adhwaryukunal: malad
adhwaryukunal: asl zpl
root_node: M/26/Nariman Point. And you?

rahul_in_2kin: hi!
rahul_in_2kin: wanna chat
root_node: Sure Rahul, why don’t we talk in the main room itself?
rahul_in_2kin: asl
root_node: M/26/MUM
root_node: Yours?
rahul_in_2kin: m 20 ind
rahul_in_2kin: bye
root_node: Bye.

rahul and rosesaif were very polite and said bye. By this time, I became wiser, as the next couple of chats will indicate.

ummagummain: nothing wrong in being selfish..but why be? when u can gain better things by not being….
ummagummain: whatever that means…..
root_node: Uh, U, in case you think I’m 19/F or something, I have to disappoint you – 26/M. Still want to PM?

crazyace_2002in: hi thete
root_node: Hi crazy!
crazyace_2002in: ur a/s/l plz??
root_node: M, to start with. I could proceed with the A & L, but my experience in these matters is usually a negative
crazyace_2002in: bye
root_node: See you. And best of luck with the girls!

mrsid_2001: hi
anand_m26blr: Hi mrsid
mrsid_2001: hi
mrsid_2001: asl pls
anand_m26blr: M 26 Mumbai.
anand_m26blr: If you’re a bachelor and want to marry me, I might have to dissapoint you
mrsid_2001: bye

Kerala chat

Tue, 06 Feb 2001 12:00:00 +0000

Kerala chat. Joseph, find yourself a nice girl!

Introduction to chatting

Tue, 30 Jan 2001 12:00:00 +0000

Full credit to Joseph for introducing me to chatting. I decided to conduct a series of experiments in chat rooms, and document the results. After that, I pretty much got hooked. Here’s a log of some of my more interesting conversations, where

I adopt a 6-year old (I’m anand_m26blr)
I learn that guys want to speak to girls (I’m root_node)
I learn that girls can be very confusing (I’m anand_m26blr)
I have a virtual date at London with a Canadian (I’m root_node)
I help a guy in Texas propose to his love in Hindi (I’m root_node)
I am befriended by an Oriyan with strong opinions (I’m root_node)
I help a guy pick a college in Mumbai (I’m root_node)
I talk to a business consultant at London (I’m ME)
I appreciate mahomedyaseenkhan’s and his sister’s music (I’m anand_m26blr)
I try to fall in love with a magic crystal ball (I’m root_node)
I learn that robots are patient, but infuriating. (I’m root_node)

AOLiza conversations

Tue, 26 Dec 2000 12:00:00 +0000

AOLiza continues. People still have conversations with a program in a chat room, without knowing it. Conversation 42, for example, is a fairly desperate 23-year old working in Starbucks, and…

Chatbots

Sun, 10 Sep 2000 12:00:00 +0000