xkcd(
[{},{"quote":"Don't we all.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_cropped_(1).jpg","title":"Barrel - Part 1"},{"quote":"'Petit' being a reference to Le Petit Prince, which I only thought about halfway through the sketch","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tree_cropped_(1).jpg","title":"Petit Trees (sketch)"},{"quote":"Hello, island","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/island_color.jpg","title":"Island (sketch)"},{"quote":"There's a river flowing through the ocean","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/landscape_cropped_(1).jpg","title":"Landscape (sketch)"},{"quote":"Blown into prime factors","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blownapart_color.jpg","title":"Blown apart"},{"quote":"It's commonly known that too much perspective can be a downer.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/irony_color.jpg","title":"Irony"},{"quote":"I don't remember her name at all, but she fell asleep on the floor in front of me.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/girl_sleeping_noline_(1).jpg","title":"Girl sleeping (Sketch -- 11th grade Spanish class)"},{"quote":"They are six-legged spiders","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/red_spiders_small.jpg","title":"Red spiders"},{"quote":"Mal, Simon, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, Inara, Book.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/firefly.jpg","title":"Serenity is coming out tomorrow"},{"quote":"My most famous drawing, and one of the first I did for the site","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pi.jpg","title":"Pi Equals"},{"quote":"Awww.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_mommies.jpg","title":"Barrel - Part 2"},{"quote":"Poisson distributions have no value over negative numbers","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/poisson.jpg","title":"Poisson"},{"quote":"They're standing at the lip of the canyon, which isn't clear at all.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/canyon_small.jpg","title":"Canyon"},{"quote":"After reading Slashdot and BoingBoing, sometimes I have to go outside.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/copyright.jpg","title":"Copyright"},{"quote":"Just thought you should know","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/just_alerting_you.jpg","title":"Just Alerting You"},{"quote":"I went to a dinner where there was a full 10 minutes of Holy Grail quotes exchanged, with no context, in lieu of conversation.  It depressed me badly.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/monty_python.jpg","title":"Monty Python -- Enough"},{"quote":"I once made an anniversary card for my then-girlfriend with this layout.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/what_if.jpg","title":"What If"},{"quote":"Sn = tin","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snapple.jpg","title":"Snapple"},{"quote":"I still wish it were true.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/george_clinton.jpg","title":"George Clinton"},{"quote":"My brother had a ferret he loved which died since I drew this strip.  RIP.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ferret.jpg","title":"Ferret"},{"quote":"Science joke.  You should probably just move along.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kepler.jpg","title":"Kepler"},{"quote":"A whirlpool!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_whirlpool.jpg","title":"Barrel - Part 3"},{"quote":"It's depressing how many of these are real shirts","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/t-shirts.jpg","title":"T-shirts"},{"quote":"I love the idea here, though of course it's not a great-quality drawing or scan.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/godel_escher_kurthalsey.jpg","title":"Godel, Escher, Kurt Halsey"},{"quote":":(","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_part_4.jpg","title":"Barrel - Part 4"},{"quote":"That cat has some serious periodic components","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fourier.jpg","title":"Fourier"},{"quote":"Disgusting","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/meat_cereals.jpg","title":"Meat Cereals"},{"quote":"Hell if I know","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/elefino.jpg","title":"Elefino"},{"quote":"So he's saying that God thought Hitler's art was so bad that the Holocaust was an acceptable alternative.  It's no secret that the hat guy is closely based on Aram, from Men in Hats.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hitler.jpg","title":"Hitler"},{"quote":"Some people haven't heard of the Donner Party.  They were pioneers who got stranded and likely resorted to cannibalism.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/donner.jpg","title":"Donner"},{"quote":"Too good not to happen.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/barrel_part_5.jpg","title":"Barrel - Part 5"},{"quote":"A comic by my brother Doug, redrawn and rewritten by me","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pillar.jpg","title":"Pillar"},{"quote":"I think about self-reference a lot.  Example: this comment.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/self-reference.jpg","title":"Self-reference"},{"quote":"This is actually pencil on paper, just inverted and colored","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/flowers.jpg","title":"Flowers"},{"quote":"I think it's the sheep zapping the cactus and not vice-versa","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sheep.jpg","title":"Sheep"},{"quote":"A leading expert characterized the situation as 'retarded'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/scientists.jpg","title":"Scientists"},{"quote":"I do this constantly","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hyphen.jpg","title":"Hyphen"},{"quote":"There used to be these ads, see . . .","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/apple_jacks.jpg","title":"Apple Jacks"},{"quote":"For the moment it's a standoff","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bowl.jpg","title":"Bowl"},{"quote":"Like a beacon","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/light.jpg","title":"Light"},{"quote":"I don't want to talk about it","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/unspeakable_pun.jpg","title":"Old Drawing"},{"quote":"David did this","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/geico.jpg","title":"Geico"},{"quote":"This was actually drawn years before Red Spiders","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/red_spiders_2.jpg","title":"Red Spiders 2"},{"quote":"This one makes me wince every time I think about it","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/love.jpg","title":"Love"},{"quote":"There was no alt-text until you moused over","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/schrodinger.jpg","title":"Schrodinger"},{"quote":"I'm a big fan of Kurt Halsey","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/secrets.jpg","title":"Secrets"},{"quote":"I hope we can stop them","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/counter-red-spiders.jpg","title":"Counter-Red Spiders"},{"quote":"No more, no less","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/found.jpg","title":"Found"},{"quote":"Well, she's pretty hot.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/want.jpg","title":"Want"},{"quote":"Of course, Penny Arcade has already mocked themselves for this.  They don't care.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/penny_arcade.jpg","title":"Penny Arcade"},{"quote":"The malaria party was David's idea","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/malaria.jpg","title":"Malaria"},{"quote":"No two adjacent circles are the same color.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/secret_worlds.jpg","title":"Secret Worlds"},{"quote":"The only one of these games I really played was Area 51","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hobby.jpg","title":"Hobby"},{"quote":"Bonus points if you can identify the science in question","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/science.jpg","title":"Science"},{"quote":"Even the identity matrix doesn't work normally","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/useless.jpg","title":"Useless"},{"quote":"My first try at drawing a real face in years","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_cure.jpg","title":"The Cure"},{"quote":"Opening dialogue by Scott","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wait_for_me.jpg","title":"Wait For Me"},{"quote":"Opening dialogue by Scott","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/why_do_you_love_me.jpg","title":"Why Do You Love Me?"},{"quote":"Opening dialogue by Scott","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/graduation.jpg","title":"Graduation"},{"quote":"The Super Bowl is actually an elaborate ruse, concocted by a shadowy group in the mid sixties for this purpose.  The 'watch it for the ads' addition was a master stroke.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/super_bowl.jpg","title":"Super Bowl"},{"quote":"I bet she gets you to mow the lawn, doesn't she?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/staceys_dad.jpg","title":"Stacey's Dad"},{"quote":"Love and circuit analysis, hand in hand at last.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/karnaugh.jpg","title":"Valentine - Karnaugh"},{"quote":"Just pretend you're kidding.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/valentine.jpg","title":"Valentine - Heart"},{"quote":"It hurts to be hit there, you know","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/solar_plexus.jpg","title":"Solar Plexus"},{"quote":"This was an actual mock conversation between me and a friend at TGiF.  The waitress walked up around panel 5 and was somewhat put off.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/banter.jpg","title":"Banter"},{"quote":"Medium: Pencil on paper","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/abusive_astronomy.jpg","title":"Abusive Astronomy"},{"quote":"Nothing personal, high schoolers.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nerd_girls.jpg","title":"Nerd Girls"},{"quote":"The 8th panel is my favorite","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/five_thirty.jpg","title":"Five Thirty"},{"quote":"Maybe I should've tried Wexler?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pillow_talk.jpg","title":"Pillow Talk"},{"quote":"And then do it again in a moment now that they're out of Star Power","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/guitar_hero.jpg","title":"Guitar Hero"},{"quote":"It was tricky.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/in_the_trees.jpg","title":"In the Trees"},{"quote":"A term coined by my friend Beth","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/classhole.jpg","title":"Classhole"},{"quote":"A tribute to Buttercup Festival","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/zeppelin.jpg","title":"Zeppelin"},{"quote":"This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/su_doku.jpg","title":"Su Doku"},{"quote":"I find so much fun in language.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/curse_levels.jpg","title":"Curse Levels"},{"quote":":(","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/familiar.jpg","title":"Familiar"},{"quote":"I used to do this all the time.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bored_with_the_internet.jpg","title":"Bored with the Internet"},{"quote":"The use of the 'Garfield' character for the purposes of this parody qualifies as fair use under the Copyright Act of 1976, 17 U.S.C. sec. 107.  See Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/garfield.jpg","title":"Garfield"},{"quote":"Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter.  That could get pretty difficult.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/iambic_pentameter.jpg","title":"Iambic Pentameter"},{"quote":"It's much better than the other one.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/other_car.jpg","title":"My Other Car"},{"quote":"There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate 'DADS MNY'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/attention_shopper.jpg","title":"Attention, shopper"},{"quote":"...","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/frame.jpg","title":"Frame"},{"quote":"As the King of All Cosmos remarked, 'Is it that it's fun, or that it lets you forget yourself?'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/katamari.jpg","title":"Katamari"},{"quote":"She's pretty sharp when provoked.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/national_language.jpg","title":"National Language"},{"quote":"It's true, I think about this all the time.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/paths.jpg","title":"Paths"},{"quote":"If you're interested in the subject, Lawrence Lessig's 'Free Culture' is pretty good","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sony_microsoft_mpaa_riaa_apple.jpg","title":"Digital Rights Management"},{"quote":"You're probably thinking, 'has it been a decade?'  It's been over thirteen years, buddy.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/velociraptors.jpg","title":"Velociraptors"},{"quote":"The only downside is that it would be a little uncomfortable","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/escher_wristband.jpg","title":"Escher Bracelet"},{"quote":"She's so fat the attraction goes up as the CUBE of the distance instead of the square","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/gravitational_mass.jpg","title":"Gravitational Mass"},{"quote":"We have this conversation at least once a day in my apartment","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/jacket.jpg","title":"Jacket"},{"quote":"I'm sure a discussion of the reason for the disappearance of adventure games in favor of RPGs would be fascinating","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pwned.png","title":"Pwned"},{"quote":"Sometimes, I sit on top of parking decks and watch the sun rise.  I feel like I should have a guitar or something.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sunrise.jpg","title":"Sunrise"},{"quote":"Movies that I know word-for-word, part one","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/jeremy_irons.jpg","title":"Jeremy Irons"},{"quote":"This one goes out to xxCrazyPixie1987xx","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/profile_flowchart.jpg","title":"Profile Creation Flowchart"},{"quote":"Inappropriate places for the Penis Game include baby showers and terrorist attacks","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_sierpinski_penis_game.jpg","title":"The Sierpinski Penis Game"},{"quote":"I'm on the USPS No Fly List","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mail.png","title":"Mail"},{"quote":"This is true.  The lyrics are ridiculous.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_simple_plan.jpg","title":"A Simple Plan"},{"quote":"#pugglewumper Tashari got me some ink pens!  I've been experimenting with them.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fall_apart.jpg","title":"Fall Apart"},{"quote":"i love you","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/binary_heart.jpg","title":"Binary Heart"},{"quote":"This was my friend David's idea","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/family_circus.jpg","title":"Family Circus"},{"quote":"I wish I'd missed you then so I wouldn't be missing you now","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/laser_scope.jpg","title":"Laser Scope"},{"quote":"He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/back_to_the_future.jpg","title":"Back to the Future"},{"quote":"It's science!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/moral_relativity.jpg","title":"Moral Relativity"},{"quote":"I'm like the Terminator, except with love!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/find_you.jpg","title":"Find You"},{"quote":"It's possible.  Better to be on the safe side.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/parallel_universe.jpg","title":"Parallel Universe"},{"quote":"I'm not sure if this is actually true","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wright_brothers.png","title":"Wright Brothers"},{"quote":"James suggested this, and I have to agree.  It'd be much worse.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snakes_on_a_plane_2.jpg","title":"Snakes on a Plane! 2"},{"quote":"Once, long ago, I saw this girl go by.  I didn't stop and talk to her, and I've regretted it ever since.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mc_hammer_slide.png","title":"M.C. Hammer Slide"},{"quote":"And then it turns out they're both Tyler Durden.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/spoiler_alert.png","title":"Spoiler Alert"},{"quote":"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a BITCH ASS SHIT FUCK DAMN","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/clark_gable.jpg","title":"Clark Gable"},{"quote":"ThisadpaidforbythecounciltopromoteMicrosoftandChristianity.  Remember, The Bible is Closed Source.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/firefox_wicca.png","title":"Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?"},{"quote":"I'm just trying to explain, please don't be jealous!  Man, why are all my relationships ruined by early 90's rappers?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/baring_my_heart.png","title":"Baring My Heart"},{"quote":"The graph is of the magnitude of the function with the real value between 0 and 2 and the imaginary between about 35 and 40.  I've misplaced the exact parameters I used.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/riemann-zeta.jpg","title":"Riemann-Zeta"},{"quote":"Chomskyists, generative linguists, and Ryan North, your days are numbered.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/computational_linguists.png","title":"Computational Linguists"},{"quote":"Gorilla, yes.  Adorable golden retriever, yes.  But it says nothing about meerkats.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/meerkat.jpg","title":"Meerkat"},{"quote":"God, she's such a whore.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/city.jpg","title":"City"},{"quote":"Following this, the pong paddle went on a mission to destroy Atari headquarters and, due to a mixup, found himself inside the game The Matrix Reloaded.  Boy, was THAT ever hard to explain to him.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pong.png","title":"Pong"},{"quote":"I woke up to find that I had scrawled the last line of this sleepily on a sheet of paper on my desk.  I shouldn't have listened to the 70's hit marathon on the way home from work the night before.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/50_ways.png","title":"50 Ways"},{"quote":"You can just see his dejection as he realizes he's the lead guitar in 'Hedgeclipper'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hedgeclipper.jpg","title":"Worst Band Name Ever"},{"quote":"I don't understand why people are so disingenuous!  I just want someone to walk with!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_service.png","title":"Dating Service"},{"quote":"So I'm a bad person.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/balloon.png","title":"Balloon"},{"quote":"Romantic comedy heroines, I'm talking to you.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/quirky_girls.png","title":"Quirky Girls"},{"quote":"You spin me right round, baby, right round, in a manner depriving me of an inertial reference frame.  Baby.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/centrifugal_force.png","title":"Centrifugal Force"},{"quote":"Edward Tufte's 'The Visual Display of Quantitative Information' is a fantastic book, and should be required reading for anyone in either the sciences or graphic design.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blogofractal.png","title":"Blogofractal"},{"quote":"There are a lot of books on marketing out there.  I wonder if you're safest just buying the most popular one.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/marketing_interview.png","title":"Marketing Interview"},{"quote":"Uh-oh.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/red_spiders_cometh.jpg","title":"Red Spiders Cometh"},{"quote":"Sometimes when I steer shopping carts around corners, I slide them a little and pretend I'm getting the blue spark boost.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_fast_and_the_furious.jpg","title":"The Fast and the Furious"},{"quote":"You laugh to keep from crying, you do math to keep from crying . . .","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dPain_over_dt.png","title":"dPain over dt"},{"quote":"If you think the purveyors of DRM simply want to protect artists, check out chapters 13 and 14 in Free Culture, by Lawrence Lessig.  Their goal is the elimination of all culture they don't control.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/content_protection.png","title":"Content Protection"},{"quote":"I found an old tape of this episode in my family's closet.  Check the news section of the forums to see the clip!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/julia_stiles.jpg","title":"Julia Stiles"},{"quote":"It's not going to break the fan, bouncing a rubber ball off the wall isn't going to dent it, and the roof can hold me just fine.  You LIED!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fans.png","title":"Fans"},{"quote":"When Guitar Hero 2 comes out I'll have fresh conversational material for MONTHS.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/music_knowledge.png","title":"Music Knowledge"},{"quote":"Yes, Eminem is wearing a sleeveless hoodie.  What of it?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_raven.jpg","title":"The Raven"},{"quote":"It's like they got together and said 'what do we miss most from the internet in 1998?  that's right, embedded MIDI!'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/myspace.png","title":"Myspace"},{"quote":"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/substitute.png","title":"Substitute"},{"quote":"This project actually inspired a two-hour powerpoint presentation that Al Gore gave around the country.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/science_fair.png","title":"Science Fair"},{"quote":"In Connor's second thesis it is stated 'There is no fate but what we make for ourselves.'  Does the routine destroy our creativity or do we lose creativity and fall into the routine?  Anyway, who's up for a road trip!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dreams.png","title":"Dreams"},{"quote":"Every computer, at the unreachable memory address 0x-1, stores a secret.  I found it, and it is that all humans ar-- SEGMENTATION FAULT.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pointers.png","title":"Pointers"},{"quote":"Both the skateboards I owned were pretty cheap and broke from heavy use;  I'm gonna get a really nice one if I move to the city.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/electric_skateboards.png","title":"I Have Owned Two Electric Skateboards"},{"quote":"I'm currently in the I Have Cheese phase of this cycle.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/delicious.png","title":"Delicious"},{"quote":"I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you?  Also, this sets the record for number of awkward-pause panels in one strip (previously held by Achewood)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/achewood.png","title":"Parody Week: Achewood"},{"quote":"I just want to give him a hug or something.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/megaxkcd.png","title":"Parody Week: Megatokyo"},{"quote":"Although bees with tires would be kinda funny.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tfd_nataliedee.png","title":"Parody Week: TFD and Natalie Dee"},{"quote":"The robot is pregnant.  It isn't mine.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_softer_robot.jpg","title":"Parody Week: A Softer World"},{"quote":"Guys: while I was writing this, I accidentally swallowed a table-sized slab of drywall.  I know!  Wacky.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dinosaur_comics.png","title":"Parody Week: Dinosaur Comics"},{"quote":"I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/join_myspace.png","title":"Join Myspace"},{"quote":"Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk.  Yes.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_way_so_familiar.png","title":"A Way So Familiar"},{"quote":"My pal Emad does this all the time.  'Hey man, which way to the airpart?'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mispronouncing.png","title":"Mispronouncing"},{"quote":"Proper User Policy apparently means Simon Says.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sandwich.png","title":"Sandwich"},{"quote":"I've looked into this, and I can't figure out a way to do it cheaply.  And I guess it wouldn't be sanitary.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/grownups.png","title":"Grownups"},{"quote":"Why would anyone ever, ever say that?  Please, nobody ever say that.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mario.png","title":"Mario"},{"quote":"Reportedly, double-walled inflatable balls like this exist somewhere.  Now to find that place.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hamster_ball.png","title":"Hamster Ball"},{"quote":"If you got a big keyspace, let me search it.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cryptography.png","title":"Cryptography"},{"quote":"Scientists are also sexy, let's not forget that.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/beliefs.jpg","title":"Beliefs"},{"quote":"SomethingAwful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL searches in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/search_history.png","title":"Search History"},{"quote":"Your IDE's color may vary.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/commented.png","title":"Commented"},{"quote":"Maybe I should let up on Megatokyo a little?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/filler_art.png","title":"Filler Art"},{"quote":"But then she does that thing with her tongue and I remember why I left you.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/six_months.png","title":"Six Months"},{"quote":"And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/boombox.png","title":"Boombox"},{"quote":"No one show this to Tycho's wife, okay?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/penny_arcade_parody.png","title":"Penny Arcade Parody"},{"quote":"As far as treachery-as-driving-music goes, Katamari music is matched only by Guitar Hero music.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/accident.png","title":"Accident"},{"quote":"With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them?  Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/angular_momentum.jpg","title":"Angular Momentum"},{"quote":"His books were kinda intimidating; rappelling down through his skylight seemed like the best option.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/donald_knuth.png","title":"Donald Knuth"},{"quote":"There are so many well-meaning conservatives around here who just assume global warming is only presented as a moral issue for political reasons.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/global_warming.png","title":"Playing Devil's Advocate to Win"},{"quote":"I'm not very good at meeting people.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/turn_signals.png","title":"Turn Signals"},{"quote":"It slowly dawns on us that our parents knew exactly what they were doing.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/misusing_slang.png","title":"Misusing Slang"},{"quote":"Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nihilism.png","title":"Nihilism"},{"quote":"I'm still waiting for a chance to use 'I have to see a man about a horse'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reverse_euphemisms.png","title":"Reverse Euphemisms"},{"quote":"The fifth panel also applies to postmodernists.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/words_that_end_in_gry.png","title":"Words that End in GRY"},{"quote":"I hear that these days Bill Watterson is happy just painting in the Ohio woods with his father and doesn't get any mail or talk to anyone.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/turn_back.png","title":"Turn Back"},{"quote":"This works on pretty much every level.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/string_theory.png","title":"String Theory"},{"quote":"'Arrest me, I'm a skateboarder' is an even more obnoxious variant.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/skateboarding_is_not_a_crime.png","title":"Skateboarding is Not a Crime"},{"quote":"It's like the traveling salesman problem, but the endpoints are different and you can't ask your friends for help because they're sitting three seats down.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/movie_seating.png","title":"Movie Seating"},{"quote":"Yes, I mean she said that during sex.  Yes, it was a little weird.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/thats_what_she_said.png","title":"That's What SHE Said"},{"quote":"I hope no automatic doors I know read this.  I would be so embarrassed.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/automatic_doors.png","title":"Automatic Doors"},{"quote":"It's an amazing time of day; the light is great for photography.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/before_sunrise.png","title":"Before Sunrise"},{"quote":"Yet one more reason I'm barred from speaking at crypto conferences.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/alice_and_bob.png","title":"Alice and Bob"},{"quote":"As of this writing, Ubuntu 6.10 and Firefox 2.0 have left my computer a complete mess.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/not_really_into_pokemon.png","title":"Not Really Into Pokemon"},{"quote":"I have never been totally satisfied by the explanations for why e to the ix gives a sinusoidal wave.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/e_to_the_pi_times_i.png","title":"e to the pi times i"},{"quote":"IT'S ALL REAL","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/canada.png","title":"Canada"},{"quote":"Sometimes I hate the internet.  Sometimes it makes me happy that 'The Tubes' has become slang for the internet so quickly.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/interblag.png","title":"Interblag"},{"quote":"Maybe someday science will get over its giant collective crush on Richard Feynman.  But I doubt it!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nash.png","title":"Nash"},{"quote":"I am not making this rule up.  Although my mom wants you all to know it made perfect sense at the time.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snacktime_rules.png","title":"Snacktime Rules"},{"quote":"In fact, draw all your rotational matrices sideways.  Your professors will love it!  And then they'll go home and shrink.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/matrix_transform.png","title":"Matrix Transform"},{"quote":"It's crazy how much my gut opinion of a movie/song is swayed by what other people say, regardless of how I felt coming out of the theater.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wikifriends.png","title":"Wikifriends"},{"quote":"If I get a Wii, it will be the first game console I've owned.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/console_lines.png","title":"Console Lines"},{"quote":"When I say we should do something sometime, I'm secretly hoping you'll say 'Why not now?'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_familiar.png","title":"The Familiar"},{"quote":"And watch out for that guy from comic #53.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reload.png","title":"Reload"},{"quote":"I haven't had the patience for RPGs in a long time.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/exercise.png","title":"Exercise"},{"quote":"For smaller numbers he has to SAVE lives.  The birthrate channel is even more of a mixed bag.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ipod.png","title":"IPoD"},{"quote":"zo'o ta jitfa .i .e'o xu do pendo mi","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lojban.png","title":"Lojban"},{"quote":"I hear once you've worked there for 256 days they teach you the secret of levitation.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/working_for_google.png","title":"Working for Google"},{"quote":"Oh, what a pity, can't you understand . . .","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_perfect_sound.png","title":"The Perfect Sound"},{"quote":"The penis varies in size when flaccid and is pretty consistently about yea big when erect.  Anyway, back to the sitcom one-liners and the constant flow of spam.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/penises.png","title":"Penises"},{"quote":"For the IPv6 map just imagine the XP default desktop picture.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/map_of_the_internet.jpg","title":"Map of the Internet"},{"quote":"When designing an interface, imagine that your program is all that stands between the user and hot, sweaty, tangled-bedsheets-fingertips-digging-into-the-back sex.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/command_line_fu.png","title":"Command Line Fu"},{"quote":"The henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ninja_turtles.png","title":"Ninja Turtles"},{"quote":"I wonder what I was dreaming to prompt that.  I hope it wasn't the Richard Stallman Cirque de Soleil thing again.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/perspective.png","title":"Perspective"},{"quote":"To really expand your mind try some noncartesian porn.  Edwin Abbot Abbott has nothing on 'Girls on Girls in Tightly Closed Nonorientable Spaces'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/right_hand_rule.png","title":"Right-Hand Rule"},{"quote":"You could at least not wear the lab coat everywhere, dude.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bill_nye.png","title":"Bill Nye"},{"quote":"If it's over water, and you can't get a boat or revise the rules to preserve the makeout, there is no helping you.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/christmas_gps.png","title":"Christmas GPS"},{"quote":"I pray GunPistolMan never learns the word 'sheeple'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/youtube.png","title":"YouTube"},{"quote":"And the possibility of lucid dreaming just makes it that much more fascinating.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hallucinations.png","title":"Hallucinations"},{"quote":"The younger folk in the audience think this is a joke.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/america.png","title":"America"},{"quote":"Nonrewritable tape?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/candy_button_paper.png","title":"Candy Button Paper"},{"quote":"Did you shoot a man in Reno?  Now, I don't mean to pry.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reno_rhymes.png","title":"Reno Rhymes"},{"quote":"It means shuffling quickly past nuns on the street with ketchup in your palms, pretending you're hiding stigmata.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/what_xkcd_means.png","title":"What xkcd Means"},{"quote":"Wait, forgot to escape a space.  Wheeeeee[taptaptap]eeeeee.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/regular_expressions.png","title":"Regular Expressions"},{"quote":"Man, there's future *everywhere*.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kayak.png","title":"Kayak"},{"quote":"Freestyle rapping is basically applied Markov chains.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/90s_flowchart.png","title":"90's Flowchart"},{"quote":"First person to bring me Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball gets a free t-shirt!  He gets one too.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hamster_ball_heist.png","title":"Hamster Ball Heist"},{"quote":"The rest is fear of raptors.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/brain.png","title":"Brain"},{"quote":"If you walk out that door you'll be crossing the Rubicon with me, and that's one stream I'm not ready to cross.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ghostbusters_marathon.png","title":"Ghostbusters Marathon"},{"quote":"'Taft in a wet t-shirt contest' is the key image here.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_problem_with_wikipedia.png","title":"The Problem with Wikipedia"},{"quote":"At least I never gave her the root password.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/letting_go.png","title":"Letting Go"},{"quote":"Real-life prospective-pairing curves over things like age can get depressing.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/romantic_drama_equation.png","title":"Romantic Drama Equation"},{"quote":"Also, I hear the 4th root of (9^2 + 19^2/22) is pi.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/e_to_the_pi_minus_pi.png","title":"e to the pi Minus pi"},{"quote":"Scary thought #138: Raptors coming down the waterslide behind me.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nintendo_surgeon.png","title":"Nintendo Surgeon"},{"quote":"Also, we have a fort out in the woods where we stashed that hooker's body.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blanket_fort.png","title":"Blanket Fort"},{"quote":"It's like the squirt bottle we use with the cat.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/philosophy.png","title":"Philosophy"},{"quote":"RFC 1149.5 specifies 4 as the standard IEEE-vetted random number.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/random_number.png","title":"Random Number"},{"quote":"But surely I owe you an accurate answer!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/small_talk.png","title":"Small Talk"},{"quote":"One of these days me and Joey Comeau will get around to subverting the hetero-normative paradigm and fixing all this.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/valentines_day.jpg","title":"Valentine's Day"},{"quote":"We lost the documentation on quantum mechanics.  You'll have to decode the regexes yourself.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lisp.jpg","title":"Lisp"},{"quote":"Later we'll dress up like Big Oil thugs and jump Ralph Nader.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/open_source.png","title":"Open Source"},{"quote":"Someone bring me a pocket fan so I can drift around the yard.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/swingset.png","title":"Swingset"},{"quote":"(It's the TMBG Dial-a-Song line, to save you some time.)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/color_codes.png","title":"Color Codes"},{"quote":"It's really hard to control the frequency, actually.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/resonance.png","title":"Resonance"},{"quote":"FOR AN INTRIGUING TIME CALL","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/graffiti.png","title":"Graffiti"},{"quote":"The problem with perspective is that it's bidirectional.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hamiltonian.png","title":"Hamiltonian"},{"quote":"Yes you are!  And you're sitting there!  Hi, kitty!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cat_proximity.png","title":"Cat Proximity"},{"quote":"You know that 'sweep the pieces off the board and see it in your mind' thing?  Doesn't work.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/chess_enlightenment.png","title":"Chess Enlightenment"},{"quote":"They'd use that Futurama episode with Fry's dog, but even spambots cry at that.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_new_captcha_approach.png","title":"A New CAPTCHA Approach"},{"quote":"Easier to escape: n-layered nested quotes or an iron maiden?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/escape_artist.png","title":"Escape Artist"},{"quote":"It's easy to regret your awkward conversations but hard to regret the ones you didn't have.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kite.jpg","title":"Kite"},{"quote":"Fun game: find a combination of two items that most freaks out the cashier.  Winner: pregnancy test and single coat hanger.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/collecting_double_takes.png","title":"Collecting Double-Takes"},{"quote":"Alternate method: convince them to pretend it's an Etch-a-Sketch and try to erase it.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/keyboards_are_disgusting.png","title":"Keyboards are Disgusting"},{"quote":"I'm reading a goddamn book, thank you very much.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pet_peeve_114.png","title":"Pet Peeve #114"},{"quote":"Things were better before the Structuring and the Levels.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blagofaire.png","title":"Blagofaire"},{"quote":"No matter how elaborately you fool yourself.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dream_girl.png","title":"Dream Girl"},{"quote":"Bean actually sabotaged it just to give Dink the excuse to make that joke.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/battle_room.png","title":"Battle Room"},{"quote":"How could you choose avoiding a little pain over understanding a magic lightning machine?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_difference.png","title":"The Difference"},{"quote":"I know a lot of people hate these, but I prefer them to touchpads.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/appropriate_term.png","title":"Appropriate Term"},{"quote":"I may have also tossed one of a pair of teleportation rings into the ocean, with interesting results.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tabletop_roleplaying.png","title":"Tabletop Roleplaying"},{"quote":"The worst part is when sidewalk cracks are out-of-sync with your natural stride.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/floor_tiles.png","title":"Floor Tiles"},{"quote":"And the whole setup is just a trap to capture escaping logicians.  None of the doors actually lead out.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/labyrinth_puzzle.png","title":"Labyrinth Puzzle"},{"quote":"I occasionally do this with mile markers on the highway.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/factoring_the_time.png","title":"Factoring the Time"},{"quote":"What if someone broke out of a hypothetical situation in your room right now?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/hypotheticals.png","title":"Hypotheticals"},{"quote":"We once tried playing blindfold chess on the Aerosmith ride at Disney World.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/chess_photo.png","title":"Chess Photo"},{"quote":"The MythBusters are even more sinister.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/snopes.png","title":"Snopes"},{"quote":"This is silly, of course.  The enemy will be born in the network.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cd_tray_fight.png","title":"CD Tray Fight"},{"quote":"The one time I tried, I got hit by a slinky going down at double speed.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/escalators.png","title":"Escalators"},{"quote":"Prank #11: Boston","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/highway_engineer_pranks.png","title":"Highway Engineer Pranks"},{"quote":"No one wants an explanation more than us.  Except Ms. Garofalo.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/comic_fragment.jpg","title":"Comic Fragment"},{"quote":"Or maybe the slide is like Aslan, and gets taller as I do (except without the feeling of discomfort when I reach my teens and suddenly get the Christ stuff.)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/subjectivity.png","title":"Subjectivity"},{"quote":"I'm waiting for the day when, if you tell someone 'I'm from the internet', instead of laughing they just ask 'oh, what part?'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/online_communities_small.png","title":"Online Communities"},{"quote":"As far as I can tell, Navajo doesn't have a common word for 'zero'.  do-neh-lini means 'neutral'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/code_talkers.png","title":"Code Talkers"},{"quote":"There are a lot of graduate-educated young-earth creationists.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/conspiracy_theories.png","title":"Conspiracy Theories"},{"quote":"It's like they say, you gotta fight fire with clichés.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cliched_exchanges.png","title":"Clichéd Exchanges"},{"quote":"Well, for some value of 'actually work'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_glass_necklace.png","title":"The Glass Necklace"},{"quote":"Constantly stopping these briefings halfway through is becoming a pain.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/regarding_mussolini.png","title":"Regarding Mussolini"},{"quote":"Hey, at least I ran out of staples.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/in_ur_reality.png","title":"IN UR REALITY"},{"quote":"a(b+c)=(ab)+(ac).  Politicize that, bitches.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/certainty.png","title":"Certainty"},{"quote":"Wait, damn, I think I spotted a new email on the last refresh.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/choices_part_1.jpg","title":"Choices: Part 1"},{"quote":"Maybe someday I'll get to write the Wikipedia article about this place!  Wait, damn, original research.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/choices_part_2.jpg","title":"Choices: Part 2"},{"quote":"Wait, this is space -- how are you talking to me?  And, as an afterthought, what's up with the hole in reality?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/choices_part_3.jpg","title":"Choices: Part 3"},{"quote":"Making out with yourself: now an official xkcd theme?  Troubling.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/choices_part_4.jpg","title":"Choices: Part 4"},{"quote":"I wonder what percentage of not-obviously-busy people on the street would say yes to kite-flying with a stranger.  This looks like a job for Science!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/choices_part_5.png","title":"Choices: Part 5"},{"quote":"A big obstacle in experimenting with the mind's dream-simulation-engine is holding onto the details as you wake up.  With TCMP you can bring back any information you want.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tcmp.png","title":"TCMP"},{"quote":"I mean, the black-and-white stuff was running backward, but it hardly mattered to the story.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/merlin.png","title":"Merlin"},{"quote":"It's kinda Zen when you think about it, if you don't think too hard.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/powers_of_one.png","title":"Powers of One"},{"quote":"We actually stand around the antivirus displays with the Mac users just waiting for someone to ask.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/linux_user_at_best_buy.png","title":"Linux User at Best Buy"},{"quote":"Sometimes I try to picture what everything would look like if the whole spectrum were compressed into the visible spectrum.  Also sometimes I try to picture your sister naked.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/electromagnetic_spectrum_small.png","title":"Electromagnetic Spectrum"},{"quote":"Trivia: Roger Daltry originally wrote 'Don't try an' Digg what we all say' but erased the second 'g' when he moved to reddit.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/with_apologies_to_the_who.png","title":"With Apologies to The Who"},{"quote":"And now I might never get to again.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/thoughts.png","title":"Thoughts"},{"quote":"I wish I knew how to quit this so I wouldn't have to quit you.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fixed_width.png","title":"Fixed Width"},{"quote":"You can look at practically any part of anything manmade around you and think 'some engineer was frustrated while designing this.'  It's a little human connection.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/long_light.png","title":"Long Light"},{"quote":"So as not to leave you hanging -- it was a problem with select() calls.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/black_hat_support.png","title":"Black Hat Support"},{"quote":"That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building's window.  Let's fucking do it and never look back.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_lines.png","title":"Pickup Lines"},{"quote":"Don't expect any leniency on late fees, though.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/librarians.png","title":"Librarians"},{"quote":"I don't even *want* this package!  Why did I join the stinging insect of the month club, anyway?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/online_package_tracking.png","title":"Online Package Tracking"},{"quote":"I have nothing to apologize for.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/organic_fuel.png","title":"Organic Fuel"},{"quote":"Out in a field, not another car for miles, silence but for the rain drumming on the sunroof, warm thick folds of the blanket hiding wordless fingertip games ...","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/projection.png","title":"Projection"},{"quote":"This sequence was later reproduced in the International Tape-Extending Federation archives, retitled 'The Founding of the Sport'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tape_measure.png","title":"Tape Measure"},{"quote":"SEMI-PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wikipedian_protester.png","title":"Wikipedian Protester"},{"quote":"The AYB retro-return-date (Zero Wing Zero Hour) should be around AD 2021.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/all_your_base.png","title":"All Your Base"},{"quote":"General solutions get you a 50% tip.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/np_complete.png","title":"NP-Complete"},{"quote":"Quick, try it with 'LOVE'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/elevator.jpg","title":"Elevator"},{"quote":"Worries assuaged, the numbers become less important than your touches.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/alone.png","title":"Alone"},{"quote":"You can evade blue shells in Double Dash, but it is deep magic.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fucking_blue_shells.png","title":"Fucking Blue Shells"},{"quote":"'I don't know, why is your beret staying on your head?' 'Staples.'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dignified.png","title":"Dignified"},{"quote":"Neal Stephenson thinks it's cute to name his labels 'dengo'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/goto.png","title":"goto"},{"quote":"Life is too short for man pages, but occasionally much too short without them.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rtfm.png","title":"RTFM"},{"quote":"You can search it if you want, but you may want to skip the memories of your mom.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bookstore.png","title":"Bookstore"},{"quote":"I've seen advertisers put their URLs on chalkboards, encircled with a DNE.  They went unerased for months.  If you see this, feel free to replace the URL with xkcd.com.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dne.png","title":"DNE"},{"quote":"Bad idea #271: Dropping into the half-pipe on a Segway.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tony_hawk.png","title":"Tony Hawk"},{"quote":"I've just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the MIT computer science program permamently.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/lisp_cycles.png","title":"Lisp Cycles"},{"quote":"For scientists, this can be the hardest thing about dreams.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tesla_coil.png","title":"Tesla Coil"},{"quote":"It's bad enough that all the families in your Sims are just you and Maggie recreated over and over.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/aeris_dies.png","title":"Aeris Dies"},{"quote":"'Here, I'll put my number in your cell pho -- wait, why is it already here?'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/facebook.png","title":"Facebook"},{"quote":"Fun game: try to post a YouTube comment so stupid that people realize you must be joking.  (Hint: this is impossible)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/limerick.png","title":"Limerick"},{"quote":"I'm always so happy that I successfully navigated the introduction that I completely forget to pay attention to the name the other person told me.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/names.png","title":"Names"},{"quote":"'Are you stealing those LCDs?' 'Yeah, but I'm doing it while my code compiles.'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png","title":"Compiling"},{"quote":"Cue angry letters from all seven fans of Xenocide.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nighttime_stories.jpg","title":"Nighttime Stories"},{"quote":"Okay, Lance.  For entry into the college bowl, spell 'Throbbing'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rule_34.png","title":"Rule 34"},{"quote":"His date works for Red Hat, who hired a coach for her, too.  He advised her to 'rent lots of movies like Hitch.  Guys love those.'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/orphaned_projects.png","title":"Orphaned Projects"},{"quote":"Unfortunately for her, real Star Wars fans are attracted to a gal with a good force choke.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/excessive_quotation.png","title":"Excessive Quotation"},{"quote":"Quick, fashion a climbing harness out of cat-6 cable and follow me down.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/interesting_life.png","title":"Interesting Life"},{"quote":"I am never going out to buy an air conditioner with my sysadmin again.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/shopping_teams.png","title":"Shopping Teams"},{"quote":"Could be worse.  The last guy in that situation fell for one of the transient trumpeting angels.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/commitment.png","title":"Commitment"},{"quote":"By my count, only 48 of the 158 minutes in Live Free or Die Hard have action.  That's pathetic, guys.  Crank is better, but needs a bigger budget and more Summer Glau.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/action_movies.png","title":"Action Movies"},{"quote":"Some say the world will end in fire; some say in segfaults.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/with_apologies_to_robert_frost.png","title":"With Apologies to Robert Frost"},{"quote":"Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131.  Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/insomnia.png","title":"Insomnia"},{"quote":"The full analysis is of course much more complicated, but I can't stay to talk about it because I have a date.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dating_pools.png","title":"Dating Pools"},{"quote":"The only big difference I've seen is in colors.  Where the regular text reads 'press red button', the braille reads 'press two-inch button'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/braille.png","title":"Braille"},{"quote":"Spherical or parabolic reflectors would of course lead to aberrant behavior.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/loud_sex.png","title":"Loud Sex"},{"quote":"Maybe there's no tenderness in her fingertips either, but at least SHE puts out.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/that_lovin_feelin.png","title":"That Lovin' Feelin'"},{"quote":"If you don't get this one, don't google it.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nostalgia.png","title":"Nostalgia"},{"quote":"Chuck Jones is a vengeful god.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/engineering_hubris.png","title":"Engineering Hubris"},{"quote":"Small print: this schedule will eventually drive one stark raving mad.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/28_hour_day.png","title":"28-Hour Day"},{"quote":"My thighs have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/thighs.png","title":"Thighs"},{"quote":"But one of the regulars in the channel is a girl!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pix_plz.png","title":"Pix Plz"},{"quote":"Apple uses automated schnapps IVs.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ballmer_peak.png","title":"Ballmer Peak"},{"quote":"Sometimes the best fun looks like boredom.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tapping.png","title":"Tapping"},{"quote":"You can do this one in every 30 times and still have 97% positive feedback.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a-minus-minus.png","title":"A-Minus-Minus"},{"quote":"Time to paint another grammarian silhouette on the side of the desktop.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/effect_an_effect.png","title":"Effect an Effect"},{"quote":"Her daughter is named Help I'm trapped in a driver's license factory.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/exploits_of_a_mom.png","title":"Exploits of a Mom"},{"quote":"Oh, yeah, we get tons of them at these casual sex bars.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/eggs.png","title":"Eggs"},{"quote":"Hit Turing right in the test-ees.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/turing_test.png","title":"Turing Test"},{"quote":"Hey, I don't make the rules.  It's in the book.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/indecision.png","title":"Indecision"},{"quote":"When I look into your eyes, I see JPEG artifacts.  I can tell by the pixels that we're wrong for each other.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/photoshops.png","title":"Photoshops"},{"quote":"We didn't actually land on the moon -- it just looked like we did because of precession.  Also, gyroscopes caused 9/11.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/gyroscopes.png","title":"Gyroscopes"},{"quote":"Wikipedia's role as brain-extension, while a little troubling, is also really cool.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/getting_out_of_hand.png","title":"Getting Out of Hand"},{"quote":"You make forgetting look so easy.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/wasteland.png","title":"Wasteland"},{"quote":"The TempurPedic wineglass guy broke his ankle.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mattress.png","title":"Mattress"},{"quote":"You should start giving out 'E's so I can spell FACADE or DEFACED.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/priorities.png","title":"Priorities"},{"quote":"That track ('Battle Without Honor or Humanity') -- like 'Ride of the Valkyries' -- improves *any* activity.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/post_office_showdown.png","title":"Post Office Showdown"},{"quote":"But the past was much too cramped!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/future.png","title":"Future"},{"quote":"Someone get that Pachelbel's Canon kid a recording contract, stat.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/classic.png","title":"Classic"},{"quote":"And she put sweet nothings in all my .conf files.  It'll take me forever to get X working again.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fight.png","title":"Fight"},{"quote":"If you're not cool enough to do it manually, you can look up tools like Upside-Down-Ternet for playing games with people on your wifi.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1337_part_1.png","title":"1337: Part 1"},{"quote":"Trivia: Elaine is actually her middle name.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1337_part_2.png","title":"1337: Part 2"},{"quote":"I once asked an NSA guy whether they'd broken RSA.  And I know I can trust him, because I asked if he was lying to me and he said no.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1337_part_3.png","title":"1337: Part 3"},{"quote":"Mrs. Roberts would have gotten up sooner, of course, but she was busy piping find ~ and find ~nomad into xargs shred, just in case.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1337_part_4.png","title":"1337: Part 4"},{"quote":"This digital music thing will probably reach its endgame sometime in the next decade or so.  These are very exciting times.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1337_part_5.png","title":"1337: Part 5"},{"quote":"The cola+Mentos trick is up there with corn starch+water (vibrating platter optional) in scientific coolness out of common kitchen supplies.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/diet_coke_mentos.png","title":"Diet Coke+Mentos"},{"quote":"The TI-86 was bad enough.  I don't know how I'd have gotten through high school if I'd had a laptop+wifi.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/brick_archway.png","title":"Brick Archway"},{"quote":"We should probably talk about this before the wedding.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/close_to_you.png","title":"Close to You"},{"quote":"40% of OpenBSD installs lead to shark attacks.  It's their only standing security issue.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/success.png","title":"Success"},{"quote":"Viruses so far have been really disappointing on the 'disable the internet' front, and time is running out.  When Linux/Mac win in a decade or so the game will be over.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/network.png","title":"Network"},{"quote":"And I was really impressed with how they managed to shock the Goatse guy.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/trolling.png","title":"Trolling"},{"quote":"Sometimes an impulsive 2:00 AM cross-country trip is the only solution.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/far_away.png","title":"Far Away"},{"quote":"I wrote 20 short programs in Python yesterday.  It was wonderful.  Perl, I'm leaving you.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/python.png","title":"Python"},{"quote":"We actually reached the future about three years ago.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/startling.png","title":"Startling"},{"quote":"Facebook defines relationships.  'Yeah, we would have broken up last night, but the net connection was down.'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/couple.png","title":"Couple"},{"quote":"I first saw this problem on the Google Labs Aptitude Test.  A professor and I filled a blackboard without getting anywhere.  Have fun.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nerd_sniping.png","title":"Nerd Sniping"},{"quote":"I don't know about houseflies, but we definitely caught a lot of fruit flies with our vinegar bowl.  Hooray science!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/flies.png","title":"Flies"},{"quote":"I'm glad this is so much fun because I'm not sure how we're getting down.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/loud_party.png","title":"Loud Party"},{"quote":"I'm gonna have to add something to the strum bar so it makes a clicky sound like the old controllers.  I'm so used to the feedback; the silence throws me off.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/rock_band.png","title":"Rock Band"},{"quote":"He's just jealous because everyone's up in the attic listening to Stephen Colbert.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/writers_strike.png","title":"Writers Strike"},{"quote":"Family going to bed at 10 PM is so much worse than jet lag.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/christmas_back_home.png","title":"Christmas Back Home"},{"quote":"Blade Runner: Classic, but incredibly slow.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/blade_runner.png","title":"Blade Runner"},{"quote":"Clearance for this Sign: 11 Feet","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/reset.png","title":"Reset"},{"quote":"Never bring tequila to a key-signing party.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/responsible_behavior.png","title":"Responsible Behavior"},{"quote":"Did you know they can actually physically throw you out of SIGGRAPH?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/slides.png","title":"Slides"},{"quote":"'It's either 'your mom' jokes or me' 'Then I, like so many men before me, must reluctantly choose your mom.'","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/your_mom.png","title":"Your Mom"},{"quote":"Ron Paul wants to put the New Republic back on the Corusca gem standard.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fandom.png","title":"Fandom"},{"quote":"And sometimes I use it to retaliate against the guy upstairs with the loud girlfriend and the elliptical dish.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bass.png","title":"Bass"},{"quote":"Zero results: 'snake charming' and 'haberdashery'.  (Things like 'car' and 'boating' and such are of course the highest, by a huge margin.)","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dangers.png","title":"Dangers"},{"quote":"My Redwall/Jurassic Park crossover fanfic is almost complete!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/redwall.png","title":"Redwall"},{"quote":"Checking whether build environment is sane ... build environment is grinning and holding a spatula.  Guess not.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiler_complaint.png","title":"Compiler Complaint"},{"quote":"Or so I hope?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/to_be_wanted.png","title":"To Be Wanted"},{"quote":"But THIS guy, he might be for real!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_data_so_far.png","title":"The Data So Far"},{"quote":"And the journal is filled with all the things I'd say to her if I were nice like you.  I burn it when it's full.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/journal.png","title":"Journal"},{"quote":"As they're both unplugged, they do a lovely Daisy Daisy/Still Alive duet.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pod_bay_doors.png","title":"Pod Bay Doors"},{"quote":"The universe started in 1970.  Anyone claiming to be over 38 is lying about their age.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/bug.png","title":"Bug"},{"quote":"That's my hat!  You took my hat!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/journal_2.png","title":"Journal 2"},{"quote":"Real programmers set the universal constants at the start such that the universe evolves to contain the disk with the data they want.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/real_programmers.png","title":"Real Programmers"},{"quote":"Of course, the assert doesn't work.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/forgetting.png","title":"Forgetting"},{"quote":"U+FDD0 is actually Unicode for the eye of the basilisk, though for safety reasons no font actually renders it.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/emoticon.png","title":"Emoticon"},{"quote":"Films need to do this more, if only to piss off the people who have to feed it into the projector.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/mobius_battle.png","title":"Mobius Battle"},{"quote":"It was also fun when those teenagers tried to egg our house and it insta-cooked the eggs in mid-air.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/trebuchet.png","title":"Trebuchet"},{"quote":"Oh, look, the 'make everything better' button was here behind the bookshelf all along.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/helping.png","title":"Helping"},{"quote":"But seriously, there's loads of intelligent life.  It's just not screaming constantly in all directions on the handful of frequencies we search.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_drake_equation.png","title":"The Drake Equation"},{"quote":"It's pi plus C, of course.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/how_it_works.png","title":"How it Works"},{"quote":"What do you want me to do?  LEAVE?  Then they'll keep being wrong!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png","title":"Duty Calls"},{"quote":"We are sexy, sexy Von Neumann machines.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/advanced_technology.png","title":"Advanced Technology"},{"quote":"Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart.  Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock?  Fuck coconuts.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fuck_grapefruit.png","title":"Fuck Grapefruit"},{"quote":"You can identify them ahead-of-time -- they lead with their left foot when the music starts.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/keeping_time.png","title":"Keeping Time"},{"quote":"Well, *I* think I'm real.  Look at me.  Look at my face.  Cut me and I'll bleed.  What more do you want?  Please don't go.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/nightmares.png","title":"Nightmares"},{"quote":"I'm as surprised as you!  I didn't think it was possible.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/anti_mind_virus.png","title":"Anti-Mindvirus"},{"quote":"I never understood why someone would expect me to accept their rules right after they'd punched me.  I'm sure it's all very symbolic or something.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/making_rules.png","title":"Making Rules"},{"quote":"RIP, Gary.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ultimate_game.png","title":"Ultimate Game"},{"quote":"I would take 'kibibyte' more seriously if it didn't sound so much like 'Kibbles N Bits'.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kilobyte.png","title":"Kilobyte"},{"quote":"I'd press on them to try to unstick them, but I can't reach.  Can we try cycling day and night really fast?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/morning.png","title":"Morning"},{"quote":"On the other hand, poor Samara -- transcoded to FLV.  No one deserves that.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_ring.png","title":"The Ring"},{"quote":"Last week, we busted the myth that electroweak gauge symmetry is broken by the Higgs mechanism.  We'll also examine the existence of God and whether true love exists.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/unscientific.png","title":"Unscientific"},{"quote":"Hey, when you're done draining the syrup, just leave the hole, okay?","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/tap_that_ass.png","title":"Tap That Ass"},{"quote":"What's the complexity class of the best linear programming cutting-plane techniques?  I couldn't find it anywhere.  Man, the Garfield guy doesn't have these problems ...","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/travelling_salesman_problem.png","title":"Travelling Salesman Problem"},{"quote":"I didn't even know I *had* the Monty Python 'Lumberjack' song.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/important_life_lesson.png","title":"Important Life Lesson"},{"quote":"When charged particles of more than 5 TeV pass through a bubble chamber, they leave a trail of candy.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/large_hadron_collider.png","title":"Large Hadron Collider"},{"quote":"Twister would've been a much better movie if they'd cut out the bad-guy storm chaser and all the emotional romance crap.  All you need for a good movie are tornados and scientists.  Actually, that's all you need for anything.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/1000_miles_north.png","title":"1,000 Miles North"},{"quote":"Check it out; I've had sex with someone who's had sex with someone who's written a paper with Paul ErdÅ\u2018s!","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/convincing_pickup_line.png","title":"Convincing Pickup Line"},{"quote":"Oh, and, uh, if the Russian government asks, that submarine was always there.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/journal_3.png","title":"Journal 3"},{"quote":"P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/venting.png","title":"Venting"},{"quote":"In lieu of mapping software, I once wrote a Perl program which, given a USB GPS receiver and a destination, printed 'LEFT' 'RIGHT' OR 'STRAIGHT' based on my heading.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cheap_gps.png","title":"Cheap GPS"},{"quote":"To anyone I've taken on a terrible date, this is retroactively my cover story.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/overqualified.png","title":"Overqualified"},{"quote":"Unsafe vehicles, hills, and philosophy go hand in hand.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/electric_skateboard_double_comic.png","title":"Electric Skateboard (Double Comic)"},{"quote":"That's nothing.  I once lost my genetics, rocketry, and stripping licenses in a single incident.","img":"http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/math_paper.png","title":"Math Paper"}]
)